How pain changes people

There is no love without pain, as there is no pain and life. Pain is how we gain wisdom, strength, how we become thick-skinned. But somewhere between pain and wisdom, we change – because no one comes out of the pain by the same person as he was before.

We continue to love. But we are becoming more cautious, not so accessible, not so gullible, not so innocent, not so pure and hopeless romantics as they once were. We are careful, we are afraid, we do not want to hear a refusal, we don’t want to be disappointed, we don’t want to repeat our mistakes.

We break hearts to save our own, and we can live for many years, without telling someone about our feelings, because we know that they are not reciprocal.

We love, but we no longer love with all our hearts, we love bit by bit, we love when we are sure of someone’s feelings, and we love when time is on our side, we love only if it is safe.

We continue to hope. But we are also afraid; we think about what could go wrong, how good it would be if everything went wrong, because it’s easier to cope with a bad outcome when you expect it. We live, but we do not give ourselves completely to happiness, we do not believe that the good can last for a long time, we think that life will definitely take it.

We do not give life a chance to surprise us, because we do not want to be disappointed again, because we disappoint ourselves. We are trying to predict that life will overshadow us, so that when this happens, we would not be so upset.

We continue to dream. But we don’t dream too much, don’t try to catch up with the dream, because we don’t want to lose it again, don’t want to fail, we don’t want to feel that we are not worth anything. We want to prove that we are good enough, that we can rely on ourselves, that we are responsible adults, because we dream within our reach, we dream about what we can achieve.

We do not believe in miracles. We dream, but do not follow the dream, we do not believe that it will come true, we do not consider ourselves worthy of such happiness, because we are used to pain.

We have stopped believing in miracles since our dreams have become nightmares.

Pain changes people, usually for the better, but when people suffer, they try to do everything to avoid it, they don’t want their heart to go through it again, they don’t want to cry again and feel weak.

But when we try to avoid pain, sometimes we avoid pleasure. When we try to avoid pain, we avoid a risk that can change our lives. When we try to avoid pain, we avoid loving and being loved.

Sometimes I would like the pain not to change us, so that we can continue to love, live, hope and dream, as before. To be able to believe in happiness and miracles, as before.

Sometimes I wish we could change the pain, and not she us, so that we could find a way to be ourselves again, the people we were before we broke our hearts

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